The next morning I woke up to another plate of fruit and a jar of tea which, having not eaten since about 3pm the previous day, I promptly scarfed down. Breakfast couldn’t come soon enough at this point.
Another one of the facilitators arrived this day – a beautiful, young Peruvian girl who we’ll call Rica. Rica was an aspiring musician/singer (probably still is as of this writing) and I was excited to hear her music. She would not be facilitating tonight however. Instead, she and the owner would also be participating in an Ayahuasca ceremony with us.
Aside from lunch, nothing of note really happened during the day so allow me to skip to the goods.
Night time fell and the staff retrieved us from our houses. Myself and the other guests took our spots as we had the night before with the owner to my right and Rica completing the half moon. The Shaman told us we would be taking a full dose tonight as he could tell we were all handling the medicine well. One by one we walked up and took our shots. It got harder and harder to drink these things every single time. In fact, the only thing that might hold me back from doing Ayahuasca in the future would be that taste.
After we had all taken our medicine, the Shaman blew out the candle and the ceremony began. As he began singing his icaros things got intense real quick.
I’m going to try and describe some of these visions as best I can but to be perfectly honest, it’s impossible to explain some of the things you see because you’ve never seen them before (if that makes sense). It would be like trying to describe the colour red to a blind person. But here goes nothin’.
Incredible bursts of light and bright colours appeared before me. Shades of gold and silver that were indescribably luminescent began popping like fireworks. It was like being inside of a kaleidoscope. I saw pure energy which was made up of interlocking shapes (I’m losing some of you here aren’t I? Don’t worry, it gets weirder).
Flying through this tunnel of colours and shapes at rapid speed, gigantic bright neon billboards began popping up on either side of me. I got the instinct that I was being distracted from something and tried to focus on what was in front of me but to no avail. The billboards were too flashy. Suddenly there were thousands (I mean, probably, who was counting?) of lucky cats – those cats with the 1 paw up you see in sushi restaurants – flying past me.
Now, they say that everybody that takes Ayahuasca gets visited during their experience by a female spirit who they call Mother Aya. You either see her or hear her but she makes sure to check in on everyone. It was at this point I heard a female voice in my head or heart or wherever the fuck it was coming from and all it kept saying was “You’re okay.”
“You’re okay. Bad things may have happened to you, but you’re a good person. You’re okay.”
Over and over again until it really sunk in. I was a person who had a big problem with negative self-talk and low self-worth etc. So to hear this reassuring voice continue to remind me that I was “okay” was possibly the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. So naturally, I began weeping like Jason Momoa just proposed to me. For realises, in front of everyone else in the maloca, crying hysterically at this revelation that maybe I wasn’t a total piece of shit. As this happened I was filled with this feeling of love and appreciation for everything in my life – the people, the experiences I had etc. It was (and still is) the best feeling I’ve ever experienced.
After this I envisioned myself laying on a surgery table and having countless micro sized, alien doctors running along my skin trying to locate something. I was laying back with my left arm above my head on the mattress and I began to feel a tremor in my left wrist as if they had found something. As my wrist continued to spasm I could feel the little fellas beginning to expel some sort of dark energy from my body through my fingertips.
The Shaman lit the candle and the ceremony was technically over. The effects of the medicine were still quite active in my body however, so I remained laying on my mattress with my eyes closed. I began to hear a very beautiful song and a girl singing and thought I was tripping out still. Turned out to just be Rica sitting up on her mattress, playing her guitar.
Regardless, it was a lovely melody and a perfect way to end the most beautiful night of my life.